Right in the heart

I was waiting here for hours now, sitting at this table, my look was lost in the blur of boredom, the silence around me was broken just by the sirens of the city from time to time….
People were passing by me as if I was invisible, in the middle of the lights everywhere, all those ads, those buildings, I was little. But all those motions, those cries, those sounds were nothing compared to my loneliness, at the terrace of this bar, if was there, me, my heavy heart and my beer…
Everything was too big in this city anyway, people were like ants in an anthill, nothing but little workers, soulless, emotionless, as they were robots with a human shape…
Once I used to wonder if it was real, if all of this was just artificial, a big lie, the human race only a big joke in an empty space, alone in the universe as they say, but not even real, fake…
All this air shuffled for nothing, all those words meaningless and dull, and me in my own space, alone in the universe…
My breath is going slow, I cannot move my hands, they feel itchy, my breath stops, apnea is overwhelming now, my look become even more blurred, I feel the last heartbeats in my chest, two, one…The end…

Written while listening “My Terracotta heart” by Blur, not the lyrics, only the music.

Red

The pale red light of a morning sun woke him up. He was in this desert, running away from everything. In the middle of the ashes the last embers of the fire he had set up the night before were still burning in the fireplace. Every night, every morning, the fire bring him back the memories of what he had fled. This terrible society corrupted, the wars, the blood of thousands and the wealth of a few, who were taking showers in ruby and drinking red wine, while the others, dictated by the red anger in their eyes, were killing each other.

He had been right to go away, he knew it was the only solution for him, to live outside the world as a Hermit, in the middle of this red sand, everywhere around him, and the large rocks everywhere.

His face was red, burnt by the sun, he was dressed lightly in order to face the terrible heat, but at night, he would sleep under his warm magenta duvet, next to the fire, under the light of the moon, which every night, erased all the redness of this world and turned everything in black and pale grey.

The fall

“Shut up !”, a voice cried in the dark. “Shut up already !”.

Sarah was under alarm, she had not made any sound, that could not be for her, she was not able to move anyway. Again the voice spoke with a deep tone, which sounded like rocks, crushing against each others :”you’re too loud, she can’t sleep !”

Sarah could not say where the voice was coming from. It felt like it was coming from everywhere at the same time. And as her heartbeats were going crescendo, her mind let go as she remembered how it all started.

Her friends and she were hiking on the Mt. Pyrite. All was going fine, they were trained and prepared for this activitie, they all spent days leraning the security rules. But then, out of nowhere, she slept and fall from the road, for seconds that seemed to last forever..

When she opened her eyes, she was in that cave, with no light, a pure dark atmosphere around her. She was not able to move any muscle, it was like her body was not responding. And then, a few hours later, the voice started to talk.

Here she was now, terrified and lost. Still wondering what all of this was about. The voice spoke once more. “Is this ever going to end ? Will you shut up once and for all ? Will you keep quiet for good ? Can’t you see this day is a nightmare ? Can’t you have a little respect ? I can’t take it anymore !”

Then the voice shut, Sarah waited in the dark, but nothing happened anymore. She was still lost and unable to moove but it was silent now. After a while, she calmed down and let herself disappear into sleep.

Sarah’s mom had to leave the hospital. She could not stand the kids in the room next to her daughter’s room. They were making so much noise, it was unbearable. After the fall, Sarah had been rescued and brought to this little hospital and her mother had run and driven as fast as possible to get close to her daughter. But now it was too much for her. She could not take it, it was impossible, her little baby, laying in front of her like that, with all that noise… That is why she had left the hospital and went to a park where she calmed down. Her phone rang

“Misses Slade ? “

“Yes”
“Are you Sarah Slade’s mother ?”
“Yes, I am”
“I am sorry…”